Today was slow, I was basically shadowing what my schedule will be. But after lunch it was so windy clients weren’t leaving where they were and switched to an adjusted schedule……grrr. But, I do understand I have to work with the winter weather here. Usually when I get bored I read or practice but I really didn’t feel like reading any more there. In the building of ‘O’s music therapy room they are starting renovation of the duct work. This inconveniently displaces her from her room, and in turn me, and in fact everyone. I say it’s an inconvenience to everyone because she was moved to the resident library which is a much smaller room with many offices around it and open hallways.
This means that everyone in the surrounding offices, 20 people at least get to hear wonderful music therapy sounds every day. ‘O’ said “well I guess we’ll be lots of listening and relaxation”, my reaction is I’m not going to change a thing (my other mean reaction is isn’t that what you do all the time???). I understand that there are peoples offices there but I’m not going to alter anything I would’ve done in a session because of it. One thing I will do is not practice my piano there which kind of sucks but I know how much I dislike people banging away at pianos so I won’t subject them to that. But, i I decided to do drums and cymbals for 45 minutes, that’s what I’ll do, lol, no just kidding.
I said I would help move everything out of the library into the music therapy room and the music therapy stuff to the library and of course I was there after lunch. ‘O’ was reading a book and I was kind of sitting there awkwardly. She turns to me and says well I’m not going to start moving things until 1pm so you can go and do what you have to do. I looked at my watch it was 10 minutes till 1pm. None the less, I left, I would’ve felt real awkward staying after that comment. I went to the music therapy room and decided to practice piano and guitar. 45 minutes later they bust in the door with tables and furniture. At that moment I felt that I said I’d help but they were acting like they didn’t need my help. I know it’s not something they didn’t consciously do. It’s like when someone tells you to follow them then they take off speeding, or helping someone and having no idea what they want you to do. The only things we moved was the piano, a bin of rhythm instruments, a small radio, a tabano drum, and a bag of scarfs. To that I’ll just say I know I’ll be using alot more instruments than that and I know each music therapist is different but the only think I’ve seen in ‘O’s sessions is sing alongs, pass out instruments, more sing alongs, collect instruments, sing alongs till time to go. I would like to see her do a more dynamic session, she always ask if I have any critiques or suggestions for her….but somehow I don’t think it’s my place or super smart for me to respond to that prompt. I am an intern and I understand that and will just take everything I can to use from this internship, the things I can’t are just that.
While rearranging the room she set up the piano on a diagonal facing the corner and it really bothered me and I just couldn’t get the voices of my professors and space management out of my head. Where the piano was her back was to the whole group and I kind of figured she wouldn’t take to kindly to me saying “I think the piano would go better like this.” Like ‘CTD’ its important for me to maintain good relationships with staff. So, I went over to ‘K’ and said, “I was looking at the piano, what do you think about it being on this angle?” and I demonstrated with my hands. First she said no, I think that’s good, then she looked because I said her back wouldn’t be to everyone then ‘K’ said lets see what ‘O’ thinks.
‘K’ asked ‘O’ and ‘O’ totally didn’t get what I was saying, and was really against it. I was just thinking myself and how hard it would be for me to play and twist my group around to see the group, and the majority of the groups that ‘O’ has it is not a very good idea to have your back turned to them. ‘K’ helped me move the piano and ‘O’ finally gave in, I suggested that the piano switch to a perpendicular angle compared to what it was before. So, instead of her back to the whole group, she’d be looking at 80% of the group and just have to look (not turn!) sideways to see anyone sitting really close to her. I hope I didn’t rub ‘O’ the wrong way but after ‘K’ said well this is how the piano is set up in your room anyway.
The day went downhill from there, not in a bad way but in a getting even more bored way. Sometimes I do feel really out of place. I’m around older people all day, older country people, lol. I’m definitely the only African American person that is around and have the things they talk about I don’t have the slightest ides. There have been times I’ve been sitting at the lunch table and not even know if they’re talking about me or not because they’re using a vernacular I’ve never heard and don’t understand. I do believe that I’ve adjusted almost immediately to my change in environment.
I think that the thing that bothered me the most about today and the rest of the week is the sense of being passed around I have. To a certain extent I get it, the three buildings that have music therapy rooms are spread out so I’m not always close to my desk and I usually carry all my stuff with me. But, what does bother me is when I’m assigned to someone and they want to run errands, or visit their husband, or just not have sessions *cough, cough ‘O’* and I just kind of get the ‘go some where else’ treatment or I just get pawned off on someone else basically. That’s the thing that’s gotten to me a little bit this week. It makes me super eager to start doing my own sessions so I know where I’m supposed to be and it can happen if they’re there or not.
